That type of girl

And I’m the type of girl who if you loved me, I would love you more. If you really hurt me, I wouldn’t hurt you back but I could never love you the same. You’d know when I stop loving – when I get more polite, when I stop expecting, when I no longer ask where you’ve been, when I kill off all hope, when I avoid you. But I’d still care, I’d think of us months after you’re long  gone, but you wouldn’t know, because my pride would never allow me to tell you. I’m the type of girl that doesn’t expect anything from people, so I get grateful when you are nice to me without reason. But I won’t tell you I am, I’ll show you with actions, I’ll be there when you need me, I’ll do the little things like as if they are just ‘on the way’ or ‘because I should’. I’ll do as much as I possibly can without crossing the line of more than friends.

In any case, I’m really glad that I met you.


The same kind of dream, over & over again

Yesterday was one of those dreams. Which I hoped would go on and on.

It was so similar to all the dreams I’ve had of you.

The car ride, going some place to eat, chatting about nothing important in general.

The closeness I had with you. 

I miss you. Truly

You’re always there, everywhere

But right now I wish you were here.

I dreamt of you again, last night. Sometimes I wonder, if what I dream of, is what my innermost thoughts are. It’s like I don’t have any avenue to express them, except in my dreams.

You know how when you’re young, you can say anything and don’t think about the consequences?

I’ll admit I’m the exact opposite now. I talk a whole lot – to everyone – but exactly what is most important on my mind. 

But that dream last night, its like all the repressed feelings that even I wasn’t clear about became clear to me. 

That familiarity of you driving me, I missed it so much.

I think you’re alot like me. 

Acting strong, with the same drive. But within it exists the same emotional side you don’t show to anyone. 

We all live behind tinted glass

We all live behind tinted glass. This glass represents the beautiful image we paint towards the world. That you’re living the life. That you’ve got it all. The money, the looks, the social class – and life -. So we Instagram and Facebook everything. From the kind of parties you attend, to the new boyfriend you’re with and even what you had for lunch or dinner.

But behind this fragile glass, more often then not, we’re all vulnerable. With insecurities, with hidden secrets. And because we want to protect that tinted glass, sometimes we feel that there’s just so many sides we can show to others. 

But if you ever bother to look behind the pretty glass you see, you’ll realise that, this glass is not even a representative of that person. It was simply, a pretence. 

And behind this tinted glass, is a living soul, that in any sort of way, hungers for acceptance, recognition, and love. 

And I admit that I have one of this tinted glass too.

Something very meaningful

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO.